Touch, when there are no words.

Touch,

We can't live without it.

Our first touch is from our mother while in the womb, we feel her caress when she rubs her belly, swelling with our growth, loving us beyond belief, finally she holds us in her arms.

We grow up with touch, from our family and our friends. We learn relationships, we have ups and downs, we cry... we need hugs, we laugh... sometimes we need hugs.

Sometimes when we are in a relationship, we take those touches for granted, until they are no longer there, and what a shame if they never were to begin with. What we would sometimes give to feel those arms around us once again.

Touch can reach right into the depths of our being and take hold, once again helping us to feel whole, possibly filling a space that has been empty for a while. Giving us courage that we didn't know we had.

I recently went to see my friend Marli. The first thing I did was take her hand into mine and squeeze. I remember how delicate and pale and warm it was. I looked into her blue eyes so I would see her and she could see me, the touch not going unnoticed by either of us, more powerful than words, not needing more attention than that.

We spoke for a little while, a smile had changed the tone of our conversation for the briefest moment of time and then it was time for me to leave.

I didn't want to go.

There were unspoken words in that room and my heart was breaking. I wrapped my arms around her, cradling her head in the palm of my hand, holding on a little longer this time as I whispered.

"I will see you later"

I didn't want to let go, and that turned out to be one of the hardest things I have had to do in my life.

I felt her squeeze me a little tighter at that moment. I looked into her brilliant blue eyes one last time and without a word I was gone.

I will never look into those eyes again, nor hold that hand. My friend passed away only a few short hours later.  I will miss her dearly.  But I will always remember those moments between her and I, when no words were needed.

Hugs,

S

Time.

A recent conversation with my friend made me think about time and what it means, or what is it, if that makes sense?

Really, if you stop and think about time, it gets pretty deep. Or in my opinion, it's pretty simple.  My first order of business was to google it!

Time rules our lives, it rules when we plant and harvest our crops, it measures the length of our lives and it measures the distances that we travel in our lives or across continents.

Time guarantees almost to the second how long to cook an egg (which I still can't figure out how to make the prefect egg without a green ring around it) to it's perfection, whether it is soft boiled, hard boiled or over easy.

We wear funny gadgets on our bodies and place round fancy objects on our walls to help us keep track of time. We have time machines on our phones, on our computers (did you just look to see what time it was?) in our vehicles and cooking appliances and sometimes even in our showers.

Our bodies are dependent on time. We eat, sleep, shower, and work by time. We make time for others, some times people don't have the time to make for others, we have our alone time and we have our down time. Children today, even have time out.

We measure our seasons by time when the sun sets and when it will rise again.

We celebrate our births each year with a round orb and lit sticks of wax stuck in it, marking our time here on this wonderful planet we call home.

If you remember, about two minutes ago I wrote that I googled time.  This is what I found; you may be surprised, I was.

Wikipedia: Time is a dimension in which events can be ordered from the past through the present into the future....

"I told you it was deep"

In old sailing movies or nautical movies, you will see candles burning or that have in past times, been burned, the wax melted down the sides of the candle, frozen in time.... you are seeing this picture in your head now, I know it! :O).

In all my years, I thought it was because they had no electricity! Probably so, but they were also used to measure time.....

Some of the most ancient "time pieces" were found in the tombs of great Pharoahs. Was this to measure the time that it took to get to the other side?

 "Time heals all wounds"

I would really like to know when that time comes! Because sometimes it feels like an eternity before I will once again be able to breathe, once again feel like I can smile without crying, once again feel whole.

"Time has been kind to her" or "he has had a rough time of it" or "got a sec?" or "do you have a minute?"

We have all said these things or thought them or heard them at one point in our lives.... That really is all we have, isn't it?

We have the time from the moment we are conceived until the time we exhale our last breath.

The question then becomes,

What will you do with your time?

Cherish the time you have and how you spend it, and take nothing for granted. It's that simple.

Hugs,

Sandy

A box of apples

It has been a couple of weeks since I have been on here, writing for me and for you. You see, the way this works is it comes from my heart. Anything and everything I do, comes from the deepest part of my heart, otherwise, it doesn't mean anything to me and it won't truly reflect who I am.

As some of you know, I am now freelancing for Eugene Daily News and I love it! I get to do exactly what I love! I love people, I love information, I love writing, I love photography and I love to share it.

This is exactly why I started my own blog. To share what I love so much. I love deeply. You may have heard me say that a time or two, and sometimes I love a bit too much maybe, is that possible? No.

My story begins this last Thursday when my landlord (I really hate that term but it's all i've got Scottie!) and friend Sonja came walking across my yard carrying a brown box.... Hmmmm, my mind was reeling, what could be in there I wondered in the few moments it took her to cross the great expanse of green.

The box was half full of the palest light green apples I had ever seen!

"I have all these apples and was wondering if you would like them to make applesauce, have you made it before?" she asked.

"I can learn!" I replied with a smile on my face, showing my excitement.  She really liked my response!
"I can learn!" she repeated with a smile.

 I can learn anything or at least I am going to give my all and see how it turns out.

The weekend went by with record temperatures for the year at 104 degrees... too hot to heat up the kitchen, so there my apples sat, waiting and calling my name, and I looked into the box every time I came in and went out of my front door, promising to get to them.

 I would... but im scared! I have never done this before! what if I mess them up? I always look at something from every angle before I jump in to make sure I jump in at the correct spot! (I think it's a Libra thing.)

Today, when I woke, I decided to go for a bike ride when it was cool and get my exercising out of the way (I had been going in the afternoon or evening, which nearly gave me heat stroke)  It was a bit chilly if you don't mind my saying! I road hard and fast trying to get home, ignoring the pain in my ear's as the wind pounded thru them, and the burn in my thighs as I peddled up the hill's.

Later that morning Fed Ex had arrived with my recent order of photographs that needed to be delivered to town.  I needed groceries so I made a trip to the store as well.  (I was brave and passed by the bismarks! and the chips! and the cookies! I have will power when I want it  It's all about the goal)

I am getting way off subject, well kind of, but you will see in a bit where I am heading.

I loaded my groceries into my car and took the cart back, and before I closed the car door, I peered into my paper bags to make sure I didn't buy any snacks I had forgotten about, just in case for the ride home.  No, just full of fruit and vegetables! I closed the door and I must have looked like a little girl who had just lost her balloon. I got in my car and drove the 40 minutes home.

A friend of mine called and asked if he could swing by with a magazine he wanted to give me.
"of course!" my light is always on, but I can never guarantee the maid has visited that day (sometimes she has really fun stuff to do).

Dennis came by with the magazine as promised and he brought a bag with beautiful yellow squash and cucumbers from his garden. I love vegetables! We chatted a moment, I thanked him, I got a hug and off he went.

As I closed the door, I looked down, and what did I see? A little brown box full of apples staring right back up at me!

So this is it! I said to myself.  I put my CD of Yanni in, poured myself a glass of chardonay, picked out the prettiest apples I could find, rinsed them as I put them into the sink, put the lemon juice in a bowl, got my cutting board and my peeler and knife out and I was ready to rock this applesauce!

I couldn't do it! They were so pretty I couldn't bare to slice into them!

"Are you kidding me?" ahahaaha.

I seriously had a hard time deciding which apples to make into applesauce, and I started to get teary eyed, ok, it was a little bit more than that but for the sake of the children who might read this, I need to keep it clean. I grabbed my kitchen towel to dab the tears and I hear a knock on my door!

Are you kidding me? right in the middle of my meltdown over which apples to peel and dice for applesauce? quickly I tried to compose myself and answered the door.

There stood my landlord Sonja with vegetables from her garden for me! I nearly lost it!

I told her I was just having a meltdown trying to figure out which apples to use. We went thru her instructions for the applesauce real quick once again, all through sniffles and smiles.  I thanked her again and inside I went.

How I decided to work through my heartache of which apples to cut up; I decided to go for the ugly ones! Brilliant, don't you think?  No, they were even uglier on the inside! So I grabbed my peeler and grabbed the biggest prettiest apple and went for it!

As I write this, my applesauce is simmering on my stove, cinnamon and brown sugar melding with the apples and the smell of apple pie is wafting through my house,  and I am extremely proud of myself! It is a beautiful thing!

I realized, it was not the apples I was crying about. Yes, they are pretty and the only thing they would ever be good for is... applesauce.

I was crying because I am truly truly blessed in my life. I am doing what I have ALWAYS wanted to do, always! From the time I was a little girl and I have always had to put myself and my dreams on the back burner. Now, it is my turn.

These past few years have been rough, don't get me wrong, but the people I have met who have been there to encourage me, to give me a hug when it was obvious I needed one, to bring me vegetables from their gardens, to trust me as a complete stranger, to let me cry and to simply hold me when I did, and to take a chance on someones dream, I thank you.

I am truly blessed to have you in my life, and for those of you who are not here with me now,  I have not forgotten you and I think of you often. It saddens my heart to know I can not share my dreams with you right now as they come to fruition, but please know that you played a very important roll in helping me get to where I am right now in my life.

What have I learned today? That life is like a box of apples....... eventually, you will reach your goal, there may be tears along the way, but you will get there. I promise.

Hugs ~

S

Hay Fever...

My whole life I have endured summer allergies! Hay Fever to be exact! I remember once upon a time, I had it so bad, my mother and father took me to the hospital. I could hardly see out of my eyes, they were so swollen.  I remember it was such a scary place for me, the hospital!

Hay Fever.....

I also remember the doctor coming at me with a needle that was atleast a foot long! Im not kidding! even today, I remember it like it was yesterday.

Another vivid memory I have is my sister and I on the bus, heading home from school. It was our last day and I was crying. I didn't want to say goodbye to my teacher, Mrs. Schaver. I had just completed my kindergarten year and I felt like my world was coming to an end.

My big sister, who had just finished first grade, held me in her arms while I cried, warding off the other classmates, as they made fun of me for crying! "It's her Hay Fever!" She told them and to leave me alone.... She was my hero that day, and I can tell you, I remember as if it were only yesterday that she had me in her arms.

It is that time of year once again, but now I have a different kind of Hay Fever......

I find it quite, how should I put this delicately... Hot! to see those huge farm vehicles plowing the fields, the men in their wranglers or Levi's or what ever it is that they wear, and their stained tee shirts, soaked from the summer sun, and the endless hours behind the wheel of their hay rakes and balers and such oh my!

To see a convoy of farmers in their farm rigs coming towards me on a country road takes hold of me like no other. I can't quite explain the feeling that comes over me, but I would like nothing more than to pull over, grab my camera and record every second I can.

Gypsy, looking for her dad

I spent a summer with my uncle while he cut and baled his fields and filled his barn to put up for the winter for his cattle during the cold winter months.

It is very hard work. I have hefted a bale or two (the small ones)  and they are each about 60 pounds!  I have a high respect for all those who put on their boots and gloves and hats despite the heat of the summer sun every year and do what they gotta do, and do what they gotta love.

I can't imagine a farmer who would be doing it because he or she hated it.

So the next time you see a farmer driving down a country road, with his flashers on his rig, whether it is an antique or the newest model on the market, pull over, give a slight nod and enjoy the view!

Thanks for coming by,

S~

Life...

Life, it's better when you have someone to share it with....

I have had such a full week! House / cat sitting while taking care of me own house and me own adorable kitty Saphira, two birthday parties, of which both celebrated milestones and a family reunion!

Whew!

They kept me busy!

MaryEllen celebrated her 90th birthday this week! Oh.... the things she must have seen in her lifetime. The changes she has witnessed, the technology, the presidents she has seen sworn into office, Halley's Comet has come around twice since she was born!

She has seen her sons grow into men, and they in turn have raised their own families and her legacy continues.

When I arrived at MaryEllen' party, I hugged her and wished her a happy birthday.  She looked into my eyes and with a smile said "I was hoping you would be here, I would like some family pictures"  I smiled back at her and said... "I think I can take care of that for you".

MaryEllen,

There are no words to describe the impact your words had on me at that moment. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wont apologize, as this is who I am, but I kept the tears inside and me heart grew a little bigger in that moment!

You made me feel welcome from the moment I met you, and I thank you.

Happy birthday sweet girl, I hope all of your wishes have come true.



Life, it's better when you have someone to share it with....



Hugs,

S ~

World Beat Festival 2012

World Beat Festival 2012~

It is all "worlds" coming together in celebrating us, as a "whole" people. We are truly all the same.  We have different back grounds, we have different beliefs, we live in different parts of this planet that we call Earth, and we are all the same.

We are one in the manner that we all require the same things in order to live and to survive. We all require nutrition, we all require the warmth of the sun, without it, we could not survive as it is as good for our bodies as it is for our fields. We require water to sustain us, and sometimes, it just happens that it separates us from our neighbors. We require love and affection, without that, we will not survive as a people.  We as a people love, and bleed, and hurt, and grieve.

I took my camera to capture some of the intimate moments in peoples lives, people from all walks of life, who came together to share their story, their culture with anyone who would care to take a moment and see.

There were people from all corners of this planet at the festival.

Two women were walking by, dressed in their "regalia", so bright and colorful. I grabbed my camera and snapped a photograph of this beautiful woman.  Our eyes met as soon as I took the camera away and set it in my lap, and she thanked me. I was speechless.  I bowed my head ever so slightly to her in the only way I could say you are welcome. I wanted to cry, if I was alone, I would have. We were two people who live worlds apart and we had such an intimate moment only her and I could share.

I was now bent down on one knee taking photographs of dancers from Africa. Such beautiful people, and very sensual. I don't know exactly for sure what their dances meant, but from what I could gather in my own mind, they were saying they were ready for a mate.

While I was taking the photographs, I noticed this little girl in her mothers arms, her mother set her down on the ground and she came to me and put her hand on my knee as she looked into my eyes and smiled. My heart got a lot bigger in that very moment.  She snuggled right in and watched the show with me, as if her and I were from the same family. It was comfortable and it was right!

I learned that her name is Maria and she is 16 months old and her father is from Africa. I would like you to meet them as they were so kind to let me take their photograph and let their baby girl comfort me for a while.

We as a people are not alone in this world. Sometimes water and land separate us. So we build bridges and roads. But mostly beliefs and ignorance are the biggest problems we face and it must stop.

While I was there at the festival, there was no prejudices. There were people, celebrating each other, and all the while I was trying to figure out how I can get to these other places like Africa and India, and will that ever happen for me. I hope so.

It does make me sad that I will probably never see that beautiful woman again, or Maria and her family. What does life hold for them, and will they think of me?

I hope you have enjoyed my blog. I am posting a lot of pictures on my facebook fan page (too many to post here. you can copy this link and paste it into your browser)  or search Sandra Lynns Photography in your facebook search window. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sandra-Lynns-Photography/271691662904788 if you would like to see more of what I saw.

Thank you for coming by and truly, love your neighbor.

Hugs, S ~

Sarah